Quote from “Nude:” “Deep gray charcoal shaped her body on the ivory paper. No colors, no clothes, just my mom.” When I read this essay it immediately made me think of the art class I took in Argentina. The teacher made the three of us draw naked bodies (from photographs) with charcoal. We all felt awkward working on them and wanted to hide them, so nobody could see them. Mine are still in my room, in a bag that I have not looked since I made them, just like the charcoal drawing in this essay.
Quote from “Birds for Breakfast:” “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This reminded me of a song that all of us kids used to sing in Sunday school and church, called “Do Lord.” It is up beat, there is lots of clapping, and there is shouting back and forth. It seems very similar to what is happening in this essay. When we sang this song, it would get stuck in all of our heads and so we had a really hard time forgetting it during the day.
Question from “Crying Won’t Help You:” What is the purpose of the first sentence of every paragraph (First the thunder. Then the rain. And the wind. Three chords. The storm rages on harder than ever. The rain stops.)?
"I learned that the beauty lay in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes" -Nude I feel that this quote has a lot of strong meaning behind it. It shows that the author understands the message that her mother was trying to convey with the drawing. The author now looks at the drawing in a very mature way rather than laughing at the nudity of her mother.
"The guitar army led by generals Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones marches inexorably onward while an unearthly harmonica maelstrom swirls from somewhere beneath Robert Plant's copious locks." - Crying Won't Help You
This sentence does a great job of describing the energy in the band. I love how the musicians are compared to an army lead by "general" guitarists. This paper as a whole contains a lot of power behind it and this sentence in particular is one of my favorites. I also love how he describes Robert Plant's hair.
Question: In "Crying Won't Help You" he never uses "I." It makes me wonder if he's been to one of there concerts or not. Either that or he must have talked to someone who has.
"I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house"
I think the writer did a good job of having a open statement to interest the reader. At first I thought it was weird and it might make some people feel uncomfortable but I as I read more I wanted to find what the writer was getting at.
Essay "Birds for Breakfast"
When I am not at home and I listen to this song, I'm immediately transferred back there; to early mornings and the fire in the wood strove and the rooms that serve as the stage for our performance. My older brother is never home, but as "Birdland" blasts out of the speakers and the house rumbles from the brass, I can see him dancing like a fool in the living room and I can't help but dance along. Ever since I was kid, the only right way to eat breakfast is among the birds of "Birdland."
I like the connection the writer uses in this essay when she relates the last paragraph to the whole essay because it shows she has a true passion for music and her family. I like the fact that she has learned to still enjoy music even when shes not at home. She tells us a lot about herself with good memories. I felt that I could relate to the last paragraph because when something reminds me of the traditions in my family, I get taken back in time to that tradition.
Essay "Crying won't help you"
I am confused at what the writer is trying to get at in this essay? I feel that he makes it more complicated then it has to be?
I liked the line in Nude, “I learned that the beauty lay in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes” When I was reading this essay I felt a little uncomfortable, but when I read this sentence I realized that the drawing was not about what it physically was, but what it represented. I think that this was probably the intent of the writer, seeing as she went through the same realization. In this way the story shows and not tells, which is also the reason why the writer came to love the picture of her mother. “It actualizes the law of Show, Don’t Tell.”
“an onomatopoeic rendering of a relentless storm and the devastating flood it triggers that doubles as an allegory for American tragedy” This sentence from “Crying Won’t Help You” isn’t my favorite, but it sums up the writers whole intent of the essay. I really enjoyed the way the writer organized this essay. The paragraphs starting with “First the thunder” or “And the wind”. Although I’m not personally a Led Zeppelin fan, I could relate something to this story because I’ve seen a storm before. Usually authors describe concrete things (like a storm) and describe them in abstract things (like how a song makes you feel) but I like how this author flipped those.
question: the author of “Crying Won’t Help You” mentions how the song from Led Zeppelin is “an allegory for American tragedy” Was there anything in this essay he could’ve added to further back that up? Was it unnecessary to add in the first place?
Birds for Breakfast: “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room” (2). I really liked this line because it captures a moment in which the author and her brother are connected through the song. It reminds me of my family and how my siblings and I will stand on tables and chairs any time our favorites songs come on.
Nude: “Embarrassed, I commanded my mother to move the alienated drawing out of view.” As a person who is easily embarrassed, even for other people, I can only imagine how it must have been to feel the need to explain the picture to anyone who saw it. If the author knew at the time what the picture meant to her mother, though, I would think it would be even more difficult to tell your mother to move it. The mother must have also been a little embarrassed at that point.
Question- Crying Won’t Help You: Did the author have any personal connection to the song, or does it just make him think of a storm?
Nude: "Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother. And I learned that the beauty lay with in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes." This sentence gives a humorous image in the mind of the reader. It's humorous because I could picture any mother doing that. More importantly it's the reason why the painting stands out to the author and teaches the lesson of being proud of who you are.
Crying Won't Help You (Question): What does the author mean when he says, "when the levee breaks?" Why is this point so important, he has to repeat it at the end of the essay?
Birds For Breakfast: "The piano takes over, slowly building up the lost energy. The bass plays lazy notes until the trumpet steps in and adds a little life, but it goes quiet again." I've played this song numerous of times in Jazz band, so I was able to hear the song in my head while I read this description.
Nude - “Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother.” I like this quote because it gives evidence for her statement that she made the previous statement. This writing works hard to provide evidence for the things that it states with the culmination of that being that the entire work is trying to prove the idea that one should show and not tell. It is pretty cool how the whole thesis of this paper makes a statement that even the style of writing backs up. Strong essay.
Birds for Breakfast - “My brother is into air guitar, and this time he opens the fridge door and takes his guitar out of the cheese compartment . . . My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This combination of quotes from the essay are really strong. Firstly, I should draw attention to the fact that this essay is based around having a blast at the breakfast table which is something quickly fading in this world. Awesome. Next, the brilliant idea of simply calling the cheese a guitar is a work of genius. Finally, the show of love between this brother and sister is very strong in the second part of the quote (normally shouting at each other would be bad) which reinforces the ending.
My question would have to be about the music essays in general. Ought we describe the sounds in such detail? I guess a better question would be do we have to?
From "Nude": "I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house." I'm truly a sucker for a good first sentence. I think this is a great example of the perfect 'hook', it makes the reader want to read some more and make sure they don't have to call Child Protective Services. The author does of explaining the sentence in the follow paragraph, but for that brief second the reader is very confused.
From "Birds for Breakfast": Three times the bass plucks out the phrase and in jumps the percussion and guitar…" I really like this sentence mostly for the use of the words "plucks" and "jumps". Mostly the work "jumps". Using this verb helps slightly personify the music, making it have action and emotion. It makes me picture the notes jumping off the page and dancing into the author's ears. They could have just used "started to play", but they chose a much more active verb, which I enjoy.
Questions from "Crying Won't Help You": I don't really get why the first sentence of each paragraph. I don't think it adds too much to the overall paper, and I really would like to know why the author chose to do it.
I thought the essay “Nude” was alright. It was well written but just a bit boring for me. I think the strongest aspect of the writing was the elaboration of the painting. The author went beyond what the painting was and talked about its importance not only to her but also to other women. “This is me, take me as I am” (p.1) is a good quote showing the writer learning from the painting. She was first ashamed of the painting but realized it’s who she is and she doesn’t need to hide it.
Cool story. It seems like straight out of a movie. I’ve never actually heard of a family that wakes up to song and dances to it and stuff. That’s pretty cool. I particularly like the last line, “Ever since I was a kid, the only right way to eat breakfast is among the birds of ‘Birdland” (p.3). I thought it was clever but I also think it was somewhat corny. I rather thought most of it was corny.
"The storm rages on harder than ever. It tests the mettle of all brave enough to stand in opposition."-Crying Won't Help You This essay uses an enormous metaphor to describe the author's interpretation of a piece of music. It shows how music can paint a scene just as words can. This reminds me of Fantasia 2000, with well know music (Rhapsody in Blue, Beethoven's 5th) coupled to animations which illustrate possible meanings of the music.
"My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room." - Birds for Breakfast This scene is foreign to me. My brother and I have never liked the same music, and we would never do anything like this. Regardless, the essay describes the scene well and I can imagine it happening, even though I can't imagine it happening to me.
Why didn't the author of Nude want to display the drawing that made her understand art and sexuality. Wouldn't there be a better moral if the author had hung up the drawing in public again?
Karthik Gomathinayagam I never found it strange…..works that furnished our home” – Nude This line was completely unexpected. I wasn’t really expecting a line like this and strangely enough it was a great first sentence. Its got that “What the heck did I just read” kind of feel to it. It was a genius move to put a sentence like that at the beginning. The rest of the essay was good but with a less interesting hook I probably would have skimmed over this without giving too much thought about it. “First the thunder. With all ….. begin nod of their head” – Crying Won’t Help you I like the comparison of the drummers to thunder. It is a good representation of the sound. Like the claps of thunder. The whole first paragraph about music is really fun because it shows that the author is really passionate about the music. The comparisons are very apt and creative as well. Why is the title of the essay about music Crying won't help you?
I the piece "Nude" was my favorite, I really, really liked it. It was very simple and I think very relatable. The opening catches you too! "I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house." It's a great like, you want to keep reading. I being from a hippy town know tons of parents who have paintings of photos like this and since I and most of my friends didn't wear clothes until we were areound age 12 and I have seen ALL of my friend's parent's naked, this seems like a really honest and beautiful story. I think the use of italics is also really nice, it emphisizes and draws you back in if you got lost.
"Birds for Breakfast" I, though your school's jazz singer, am not a huge jazz fan, but I really dug the idea that the parents crank it up in the morning. The way she so clearly discrobes how the somg goes, explaining each movement and then throwing in "The guitar solo starts as 3:36." This just makes it even more belivable that she knows it inside out. I want more insight on her parents, I got the impression that they were cold and kind of grumpy. Not sure what to make of the parents.
I would love to know the ages of the people in "Birds for Breakfast" they are dancing around like children but if they are free sprited they really could be any age at all.
Quotes: “When I’m not at home and I listen to this song, I’m immediately transferred back there…” –Birds for Breakfast I like that they added this in there. I’m sure everyone can relate to something similar. When I hear S Club 7, a British group, I think of the long road trips with my family. We play this music and I can picture us all dancing along while my dad continues to mess up the lyrics. It’s intriguing how something so small can symbolize much more. “The organ cuts such a longing, mournful melody, that no words are required to convey its utter despondence, but when they do come, it is the difference between a summer shower and a gale force hurricane.” –Crying Won’t Help You There are plenty of songs I enjoy listening to because of the melody rather than the lyrics. These days there are a large amount of songs that contain repulsive lyrics. There are times when it can be the other way around. Lyrics can be very strong, enabling one’s mood to change. The tone of vocalist can also change the mood of the song. This not only happens in music, but in everyday conversation. It’s good to be aware of the tone you use because it can set the mood of others. Question: *If the painting in “Nude” meant so much to this person why did he/she not allow it to be put back up in the house?
great personification in Birds for breakfast: "The bass plays lazy notes until the trumpet steps in and adds a little life, but it goes quiet again. It is not an easy task to illustrate music in writing, however this student does a great job and really shows the feel of the tune. In Nude the hook is fantastic, the shock of talking about your mother's unclothed body does exactly what the writer would like. "I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house." This quote shows how the kid didn't really know how odd it was to have naked pictures in his house. Question on nude: why didn't the writer get more upset/weirded out at first.
Quote from Birds for Breakfast: "Trying to cure my chronic sleeping, my dad cranks the volume downstairs." I really like how the author phrased this. Instead of simply saying "my dad tried to wake me up", she brings the sentence to life.
Quote from Nude: "Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother." I like how the author found a way to appreciate what her mother does. I also like how she was able to connect the honesty of her mother's artwork to herself as an independent woman.
Question from Nude: Did the author ever talk to her mom about the beauty in her artwork? Why didn't she asked for it to be put back up?
Nude: "She resisted the temptation to draw her body as it used to look, or how society thinks it should look" I liked this because it was really honest and I'm not sure most people would draw themselves without any editing. I think this could have positively influenced the writer even though they were embarrassed by the drawing. Birds for Breakfast "My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting" I thought this was kinda questionable since they have so much energy in the morning, but if thats how they really are thats cool. I liked how the writer didn't hold back even though they probably knew it was maybe not believable. Question: Did the dude in the bird essay really have the times of the song memorized or did he just pretend like he did? Also how do they have time for family breakfast on a school day?
“Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother.” I loved this quote from “Nude” because this image really got to the core of the essay. The author goes on to say that the drawing is her mother’s declaration of self-confidence and that her beauty is found in her imperfections. I imagine that a self portrait is the ultimate test of self-confidence and a nude one must be even more difficult. “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This reminds me of when my sister and I the only ones home making dinner for ourselves. We turn the music up and dance while we cook. Its become a sort of tradition that started back when we were younger and thrilled to have the house to ourselves. Some times she even gets the little dog involved, especially if we happen to be listening to the Lion King. He makes an excellent Simba. In “Crying Won’t Help You” I learned a lot about the song but not much about the author. I was curious about his actual relationship with the song and wish he had elaborated more.
“A true test is who gets to enjoy the rainbow.” –Crying Won’t Yelp You As I started reading this to myself my first thought was that unlike most pieces of writing that use metaphor after metaphor on metaphor on simile on personification, I might actually like this one. However, it once again demonstrated to me why I can’t stand it. This creates so many analogies that after the third paragraph or so my mind has shut off, telling me “Enough already, I get it, please just stop cramming this rhetorical nonsense into my eyes.” And yet I still would give the overall essay an A- because I know that like any country song, though I may not like it, that doesn’t mean that I was the intended audience, and so to another this writing could itself be called readable.
Make it a B+ because the title makes absolutely no sense.
“…But there’s one song that launches me out of bed regardless of the time:” – Birds for breakfast. Starting where we left on the other one: The title is perfect, it relates in the first paragraph, short and sweet, and just abstract enough to get you interested in the piece without making you go “what…” Other than that the piece was very descriptive and the writing built in liveliness along with the music. In fact If it weren’t for my limited bandwidth usage, I’d look up this Birdland song right now. I could also relate as I used to wake up to music, at a camp I went to. One morning I woke up to Jump Around, and groggily got up to get ready for breakfast. Noticing a friend was asleep right when the song hit the “Jump Around!” bit I literally saw him fly out of bed, it was somewhat horrifying and the memory has stuck with me, branded to my skull. Solid “A” work right here.
Now for a question; in “Birds for Breakfast” The narrator describes her brother as childish, and you first get the impression that he is young, but then she talks of how the parents are (sarcastically) ashamed “that their son has had so much influence on their daughter.” So is it a younger or older brother. This can also be a philosophical question on whether or not the younger can influence the older ect. if Mr. Bourne makes you answer my question.
nude: "i never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house" i dont really see how this isn't strange, however that brings up a good point about how when you are growing up, most things that you have seen since early years you dont think are strange. also, there is a difference between privacy in a family, and privacy in the world.
birds for breakfast: "my brother is into air guitar, and this time he opens the fridge door and takes his guitar out of the cheese compartment. he stands there in the kitchen, mimicking playing the guitar with his eyes closed in concentration" i can certainly relate to this, as some people just love to play air guitar, and cant resist during a song. i think it is very funny that the authors brother uses a piece of cheese as a guitar, and this shows that you can add to the music simply by playing air guitar, without even adding to the sound.
crying wont help you: is the song actually about a storm, or is that simply from the authors head?
Nude “I never found it strange to have my mother’s naked body on display in my house.“ This is probably one of the best examples of a interest catcher. Most of the time when I have to write an essay, I have a very difficult time trying to start it off. But it was obvious that the interest catcher came to the author easily and flawlessly.
Birds for Breakfast “ A bass harmonic starts the song. It promises bigger and better things to come. This is the first thing to reach me in the morning.” As a jazz appreciator, this was a very appealing relation to me. I’d love to have jazz wake me up in the morning, a slow classy way of starting the day. Maybe by listing to jazz in the morning and he does apply some of the values he draws from them. If he feels bigger and better things to come then they are more prone to happen.
I’d like to know what other music this kid’s dad plays in the morning. I might put together myself a playlist.
"I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body in my house."
I really liked this essay and specifically this line because it really captured by attention. It opened the essay in a way that could really lead into anything and when I read it my mind immediately started racing over a dozen thoughts. This was a very strong essay because it starts out fairly light hearted but as it progresses, there is a clear lesson learned by the author. Also, I like how the author was able to craft a very strong essay in less than a page. It is very tight and well written and keeps the reader intrigued.
Crying Won't Help You
"Three chords. Three lines at a time. The relentless triumvirate of wind, rain, and thunder"
This line was very well written and I think does a great job of describing the sounds of a song. It's such an effective line because it relates the sounds to parts of nature that we are all familiar with. It allows the reader to connect with the piece on a more personal level. As for the entire essay, while it was well written, I didn't really like it. It wasn't very engaging as it was entirely analytical and had no narrative. Without hearing the song, it's hard to enjoy an essay like this because we don't know what it sounds like. Also, the essay didn't seem to have a purpose. Describing the song was cool but the essay didn't have much significance and therefore didn't hold my attention well.
Question: Does the author's dad play the music every morning or only on sundays?
Crying Won't Help You: "Some grotesque plague has overtaken her… pristine trough of fertility." This is an example of the use of overblown writing in this essay. Artistically, the whole essay is fine, and it has good points about the song. However, it's clear that the song has much greater meaning to the author than to the average member of the audience. There is consistent use of highly dramatic metaphorical language, stretching the boundaries of analysis, which I personally find off-putting.
Untitled (Italian Exchange Student): "Serena is a tempestuous and powerful person… she tends to alienate the people she cares about, only to be hurt by their subsequent distance. This is certainly a sweeping generalization about a person, but since the author knows Serena, I'm forced to assume it's accurate. However, given that the audience doesn't know anything about this person, it seems as though the author should have included some examples or information about the incidents around her social ineptitude. WIthout 'once'ing, these specific claims don't hold any weight.
"Smoke": Do you think it detracts from the essay to have the author bash house music in his discussion of pop?
Nude “The charcoal strokes on the textured paper revealed more than just an embarrassingly naked women… And I learned that the beauty lay in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes.” (3rd paragraph)
I love this paragraph because as an artist I have been taught the most valuable way to approach making art is to draw your emotion, you thoughts, the way you view yourself. This maybe a different way than other people view you and you may find beauty in a place others don’t always connect with at first or that makes them uncomfortable.
After writing this essay has the author told her mom her newfound feelings about her moms drawing (because it seemed like in the paper she went from it’s embarrassing take it down to her art is beautiful)?
Crying Won’t Help You “The true test is who gets to enjoy the rainbow.” (Last sentence)
I like this quote because the author ends on a happy note. The author fully analyzes the song and then ends on this light note which lifts the reader a little. The essay on the whole seemed more detailed and more of a perception about what the song was saying not really about how the song and the person intertwined.
Since this essay has speaks a lot about the storm and expressing fear and darkness really well could this person have been in a difficult spot emotionally? This maybe a question we don’t know the answer to but it’s easier to write from the heart and even if it wasn’t completely tied to the struggle maybe it was their way of acknowledging there was one.
Birds for Breakfast “On lazy Sunday mornings, instead of waking up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, I wake up to the sound of jazz.” (First sentence)
I love this intro because I usually wake up to the smell of something baking and I think it’s more original to say you wake up to music. I also enjoy this intro because it seems light and bouncy. It also got me to think about how my mornings were. A good writer gets people to think and talk about the writing.
This essay got across the feeling of love for music. Is this song just a good song or a necessity? (Some songs you can listen to repeatedly others are more like a once in a while type of music.)
Quote from "Crying Won't Help You" - "Just when the shadow cast be doubt's mothership threatens to overwhelm the mortal souls below it, the clouds split, the thunder ceases, and the wind settles to a murmur." Ok, now this is just over the top. It is a song and somehow we're talking about motherships and mortal souls. He's got to calm down a bit and come back to reality. This just makes it difficult to read and unrelatable.
Quote from "Birds for Breakfast" - "The intro is so familiar now that I can recognize the song by the first two notes." I like this sentence because it displays clearly the connection the writer had to this song. Any of my favorite songs I can recognize by the first two notes so I can easily relate to the and understand what the writer is feeling.
Question from "Nude" - This is just weird by accepting and appreciating her mom's naked picture speaks to the fact that the kid is weird or mental. If this was a college essay would displaying this odd reaction to a weird thing be good or would showing how weird a relationship he has with her mom be bad?
Quote from “Birds for Breakfast,” “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This reminds me of a similiar thing that my brother and I had done.
Quote from “Nude,” “I never found it strange to have my mothers naked body on display in my house.” I think that is a weird way to start, but I also think that because of that it catches you in and makes you want to read the rest of the essay.
Question in “Crying Won’t Help You,” I had a hard time following this essay, what exactly was this about? A concert? Just the song?
Nude: “I never found it strange to have my mother’s naked body on display in my house.” I thought that this essay was excellently concise in conveying its point. It grabbed you initially with an extremely eye-catching hook and then it told a story while at the same time described something that the author learned about herself from the piece of art itself. I think that is what really makes the difference is being able to tie the art back to yourself and show some insight that you were able to gain from it. I really enjoyed this essay and it portrayed a powerful and important message that is very often lost today in society. Self-acceptance and love is a mentally healthy thing to an extent and it is important to be proud of who you are.
The Good Winter: “Vernon proves you don’t need fake guitars, dubstep womps, or expensive recording studios to produce amazing music.” Music is music. It is completely subjective and everyone has a different emotional reaction and connection to a piece of music. Just because the author’s favorite guitar player locked himself in a cabin for three months and wrote gloomy, self-dissecting music does not mean that it is better than any other type of music. There is a reason people listen to Skrillex and it is because they like the reaction they get from it. I thought the essay was fine but it kind of jumped around a lot and did not focus on how one specific aspect helped her in one moment. Also, she needs to get off her high hipster horse about Bon Iver, they aren’t even really that good.
In Crying Won’t Help, what is the exact point in the essay? Is it that we all go through stormy and turbulent times and it is up to us to make the best out of it?
"For as long as I can remember, my mom has given me impromptu speeches about what it means to be a woman and a feminist. Her words told me that I should never let me be oppressed, that I should never be ashamed of myself or my body, and that sexuality and body parts shouldn't be taboo." This is a very different type of feminism than what I'm used to. My idea of feminists are women who are very anti-sexualization, and who would be very against a naked photo or painting of themselves. It's refreshing to see this message being sent, that girls should be comfortable with themselves, and the way to do this is not shun sexualization.
Birds for Breakfast is a fun song, it embodies the song into a fun sibling relationship. "My parents are disappointed that their son has had so much influence on their daughter." This essay is fun and happy, It really made me appreciate both the song and fun mornings with siblings. It flows really well, I think he relates all the aspects of his life well.
How did the painting in Nude actualize the law of "Show, Don't Tell"?
In 'Crying Won't Help You," my favorite sentence was "The true test is who gets to enjoy the rainbow" This sentence was my favorite because it is so simple yet it captures the entire essay. It is descriptive and it gets its point across. I loved how the essay continually circles around the metaphor of a storm and the author brings it back full circle with the rainbow metaphor.
Nude: “I never found it strange to have my mother’s naked body on display in my house." I found this sentence to be a fantastic hook. There is no way you read this and say "Yeah I think I'm good, don't need to read anymore." Its not exploitive of her mother's artwork and gives you a different look at something that could just be seen as a nude photograph. This essay was very entertaining and different. I appreciated the originality of it. I never would have thought to write about something that is so personal and different. I respected the author's honesty most of all. It must have been a difficult topic to write about and the author did a great job.
Question: What does their house look like in "Bird for Breakfast"?
“The storm rages harder than ever.” “Crying Won’t Help You” I love how the author uses the storm as a metaphor for the song and it’s many parts. It’s a really cool image, and it’s a creative way of thinking about it.
“The only force more powerful than my discomfort at that moment was my anticipation.” “Razing Arizona” This hyperbole really captures my attention. I really want to understand why she is so uncomfortable.
“Nude” Why is there a picture of her naked mom in her house? I feel like a little more of an explanation would be nice.
Sumner LeBaron-Brien "The guitar army led by general Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones marches inexorably onward while an unearthly harmonica maelstrom swirls from somewhere beneath Robert Plant's copious lock" Although the vocab used in this essay is impressive I don't think it's effective because there is too much of it. The reader can tell the author is trying to impress. In my opinion it takes too much effort to read writing like this and it bores me to death. The unnecessary vocab takes away from what the author is trying to convey
"As I grew older, my feelings changed. When my friend giggled and blushed upon seeing it, I became aware that her naked body was in some way shameful" I found this quote interesting because it's very accurate of a child's behavior and change in attitude when exposed to an opinion other than their parents. When a baby is first born and until they're in kindergarten, their parents tell them what is what and the ways of life. When a child then meets someone who disagrees with what they're taught and labels it as silly or incorrect, it's often embarrassing for that child. I've definitely experienced embarrassment because of my parents and continue to today.
"The Good Winter" essay was really powerful. The way they connected the song to a intense emotion and experience was really moving and made me connect to songs that I feel the same way about. I love the statement they make of what the song is about and how they can connect with the lyrics: "This speaks of the naive, unique bond a mother and a child share, reminding me that soon I will be with family."
I love the style that the author of "Crying Won't Help You" uses. They connected the sound of the music to a storm so well and in such a way that is so intriguing that you have to listen to the song yourself to see just how accurate they are. The ways they describe each part of the song as a different part of a storm, like the wind and the rain, is magnificent and sends chills down the readers spine. Listening to the song after or even during reading the essay you can't help but feel the approaching and ongoing storm. A favorite quote of mine from this essay is "There is still rain, still thunder, certainly still beauty, but there is something different, unnerving about it." because it evokes in the reader the exact feeling of nervousness that people feel when a big storm is occurring.
I feel like "The Good Winter" should have been longer. I wish they had stuck to one song and extended it, talk more about the lyrics and more about the emotion they felt when they listened to it. Maybe compare to listening to it while in France, and how they had previously felt when listening to it. If listening to it then changed their feelings about the song.
Quote from “Nude:” “Deep gray charcoal shaped her body on the ivory paper. No colors, no clothes, just my mom.” When I read this essay it immediately made me think of the art class I took in Argentina. The teacher made the three of us draw naked bodies (from photographs) with charcoal. We all felt awkward working on them and wanted to hide them, so nobody could see them. Mine are still in my room, in a bag that I have not looked since I made them, just like the charcoal drawing in this essay.
ReplyDeleteQuote from “Birds for Breakfast:” “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This reminded me of a song that all of us kids used to sing in Sunday school and church, called “Do Lord.” It is up beat, there is lots of clapping, and there is shouting back and forth. It seems very similar to what is happening in this essay. When we sang this song, it would get stuck in all of our heads and so we had a really hard time forgetting it during the day.
Question from “Crying Won’t Help You:” What is the purpose of the first sentence of every paragraph (First the thunder. Then the rain. And the wind. Three chords. The storm rages on harder than ever. The rain stops.)?
"I learned that the beauty lay in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes" -Nude
ReplyDeleteI feel that this quote has a lot of strong meaning behind it. It shows that the author understands the message that her mother was trying to convey with the drawing. The author now looks at the drawing in a very mature way rather than laughing at the nudity of her mother.
"The guitar army led by generals Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones marches inexorably onward while an unearthly harmonica maelstrom swirls from somewhere beneath Robert Plant's copious locks." - Crying Won't Help You
This sentence does a great job of describing the energy in the band. I love how the musicians are compared to an army lead by "general" guitarists. This paper as a whole contains a lot of power behind it and this sentence in particular is one of my favorites. I also love how he describes Robert Plant's hair.
Question: In "Crying Won't Help You" he never uses "I." It makes me wonder if he's been to one of there concerts or not. Either that or he must have talked to someone who has.
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ReplyDeleteEssay "Nude"
ReplyDelete"I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house"
I think the writer did a good job of having a open statement to interest the reader. At first I thought it was weird and it might make some people feel uncomfortable but I as I read more I wanted to find what the writer was getting at.
Essay "Birds for Breakfast"
When I am not at home and I listen to this song, I'm immediately transferred back there; to early mornings and the fire in the wood strove and the rooms that serve as the stage for our performance. My older brother is never home, but as "Birdland" blasts out of the speakers and the house rumbles from the brass, I can see him dancing like a fool in the living room and I can't help but dance along. Ever since I was kid, the only right way to eat breakfast is among the birds of "Birdland."
I like the connection the writer uses in this essay when she relates the last paragraph to the whole essay because it shows she has a true passion for music and her family. I like the fact that she has learned to still enjoy music even when shes not at home. She tells us a lot about herself with good memories. I felt that I could relate to the last paragraph because when something reminds me of the traditions in my family, I get taken back in time to that tradition.
Essay "Crying won't help you"
I am confused at what the writer is trying to get at in this essay?
I feel that he makes it more complicated then it has to be?
I liked the line in Nude, “I learned that the beauty lay in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes” When I was reading this essay I felt a little uncomfortable, but when I read this sentence I realized that the drawing was not about what it physically was, but what it represented. I think that this was probably the intent of the writer, seeing as she went through the same realization. In this way the story shows and not tells, which is also the reason why the writer came to love the picture of her mother. “It actualizes the law of Show, Don’t Tell.”
ReplyDelete“an onomatopoeic rendering of a relentless storm and the devastating flood it triggers that doubles as an allegory for American tragedy” This sentence from “Crying Won’t Help You” isn’t my favorite, but it sums up the writers whole intent of the essay. I really enjoyed the way the writer organized this essay. The paragraphs starting with “First the thunder” or “And the wind”. Although I’m not personally a Led Zeppelin fan, I could relate something to this story because I’ve seen a storm before. Usually authors describe concrete things (like a storm) and describe them in abstract things (like how a song makes you feel) but I like how this author flipped those.
question: the author of “Crying Won’t Help You” mentions how the song from Led Zeppelin is “an allegory for American tragedy” Was there anything in this essay he could’ve added to further back that up? Was it unnecessary to add in the first place?
Birds for Breakfast: “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room” (2). I really liked this line because it captures a moment in which the author and her brother are connected through the song. It reminds me of my family and how my siblings and I will stand on tables and chairs any time our favorites songs come on.
ReplyDeleteNude: “Embarrassed, I commanded my mother to move the alienated drawing out of view.” As a person who is easily embarrassed, even for other people, I can only imagine how it must have been to feel the need to explain the picture to anyone who saw it. If the author knew at the time what the picture meant to her mother, though, I would think it would be even more difficult to tell your mother to move it. The mother must have also been a little embarrassed at that point.
Question- Crying Won’t Help You: Did the author have any personal connection to the song, or does it just make him think of a storm?
Jack Roberts
ReplyDeleteNude: "Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother. And I learned that the beauty lay with in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes." This sentence gives a humorous image in the mind of the reader. It's humorous because I could picture any mother doing that. More importantly it's the reason why the painting stands out to the author and teaches the lesson of being proud of who you are.
Crying Won't Help You (Question): What does the author mean when he says, "when the levee breaks?" Why is this point so important, he has to repeat it at the end of the essay?
Birds For Breakfast: "The piano takes over, slowly building up the lost energy. The bass plays lazy notes until the trumpet steps in and adds a little life, but it goes quiet again." I've played this song numerous of times in Jazz band, so I was able to hear the song in my head while I read this description.
Nude - “Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother.”
ReplyDeleteI like this quote because it gives evidence for her statement that she made the previous statement. This writing works hard to provide evidence for the things that it states with the culmination of that being that the entire work is trying to prove the idea that one should show and not tell. It is pretty cool how the whole thesis of this paper makes a statement that even the style of writing backs up. Strong essay.
Birds for Breakfast - “My brother is into air guitar, and this time he opens the fridge door and takes his guitar out of the cheese compartment . . . My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This combination of quotes from the essay are really strong. Firstly, I should draw attention to the fact that this essay is based around having a blast at the breakfast table which is something quickly fading in this world. Awesome. Next, the brilliant idea of simply calling the cheese a guitar is a work of genius. Finally, the show of love between this brother and sister is very strong in the second part of the quote (normally shouting at each other would be bad) which reinforces the ending.
My question would have to be about the music essays in general. Ought we describe the sounds in such detail? I guess a better question would be do we have to?
From "Nude": "I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house." I'm truly a sucker for a good first sentence. I think this is a great example of the perfect 'hook', it makes the reader want to read some more and make sure they don't have to call Child Protective Services. The author does of explaining the sentence in the follow paragraph, but for that brief second the reader is very confused.
ReplyDeleteFrom "Birds for Breakfast": Three times the bass plucks out the phrase and in jumps the percussion and guitar…" I really like this sentence mostly for the use of the words "plucks" and "jumps". Mostly the work "jumps". Using this verb helps slightly personify the music, making it have action and emotion. It makes me picture the notes jumping off the page and dancing into the author's ears. They could have just used "started to play", but they chose a much more active verb, which I enjoy.
Questions from "Crying Won't Help You": I don't really get why the first sentence of each paragraph. I don't think it adds too much to the overall paper, and I really would like to know why the author chose to do it.
I thought the essay “Nude” was alright. It was well written but just a bit boring for me. I think the strongest aspect of the writing was the elaboration of the painting. The author went beyond what the painting was and talked about its importance not only to her but also to other women. “This is me, take me as I am” (p.1) is a good quote showing the writer learning from the painting. She was first ashamed of the painting but realized it’s who she is and she doesn’t need to hide it.
ReplyDeleteCool story. It seems like straight out of a movie. I’ve never actually heard of a family that wakes up to song and dances to it and stuff. That’s pretty cool. I particularly like the last line, “Ever since I was a kid, the only right way to eat breakfast is among the birds of ‘Birdland” (p.3). I thought it was clever but I also think it was somewhat corny. I rather thought most of it was corny.
Why is the title “Crying Won’t Help You”?
"The storm rages on harder than ever. It tests the mettle of all brave enough to stand in opposition."-Crying Won't Help You
ReplyDeleteThis essay uses an enormous metaphor to describe the author's interpretation of a piece of music. It shows how music can paint a scene just as words can. This reminds me of Fantasia 2000, with well know music (Rhapsody in Blue, Beethoven's 5th) coupled to animations which illustrate possible meanings of the music.
"My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room." - Birds for Breakfast
This scene is foreign to me. My brother and I have never liked the same music, and we would never do anything like this. Regardless, the essay describes the scene well and I can imagine it happening, even though I can't imagine it happening to me.
Why didn't the author of Nude want to display the drawing that made her understand art and sexuality. Wouldn't there be a better moral if the author had hung up the drawing in public again?
Karthik Gomathinayagam
ReplyDeleteI never found it strange…..works that furnished our home” – Nude
This line was completely unexpected. I wasn’t really expecting a line like this and strangely enough it was a great first sentence. Its got that “What the heck did I just read” kind of feel to it. It was a genius move to put a sentence like that at the beginning. The rest of the essay was good but with a less interesting hook I probably would have skimmed over this without giving too much thought about it.
“First the thunder. With all ….. begin nod of their head” – Crying Won’t Help you
I like the comparison of the drummers to thunder. It is a good representation of the sound. Like the claps of thunder. The whole first paragraph about music is really fun because it shows that the author is really passionate about the music. The comparisons are very apt and creative as well.
Why is the title of the essay about music Crying won't help you?
I the piece "Nude" was my favorite, I really, really liked it. It was very simple and I think very relatable. The opening catches you too! "I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house." It's a great like, you want to keep reading. I being from a hippy town know tons of parents who have paintings of photos like this and since I and most of my friends didn't wear clothes until we were areound age 12 and I have seen ALL of my friend's parent's naked, this seems like a really honest and beautiful story.
ReplyDeleteI think the use of italics is also really nice, it emphisizes and draws you back in if you got lost.
"Birds for Breakfast" I, though your school's jazz singer, am not a huge jazz fan, but I really dug the idea that the parents crank it up in the morning. The way she so clearly discrobes how the somg goes, explaining each movement and then throwing in "The guitar solo starts as 3:36." This just makes it even more belivable that she knows it inside out. I want more insight on her parents, I got the impression that they were cold and kind of grumpy. Not sure what to make of the parents.
I would love to know the ages of the people in "Birds for Breakfast" they are dancing around like children but if they are free sprited they really could be any age at all.
Quotes:
ReplyDelete“When I’m not at home and I listen to this song, I’m immediately transferred back there…” –Birds for Breakfast
I like that they added this in there. I’m sure everyone can relate to something similar. When I hear S Club 7, a British group, I think of the long road trips with my family. We play this music and I can picture us all dancing along while my dad continues to mess up the lyrics. It’s intriguing how something so small can symbolize much more.
“The organ cuts such a longing, mournful melody, that no words are required to convey its utter despondence, but when they do come, it is the difference between a summer shower and a gale force hurricane.” –Crying Won’t Help You
There are plenty of songs I enjoy listening to because of the melody rather than the lyrics. These days there are a large amount of songs that contain repulsive lyrics. There are times when it can be the other way around. Lyrics can be very strong, enabling one’s mood to change. The tone of vocalist can also change the mood of the song. This not only happens in music, but in everyday conversation. It’s good to be aware of the tone you use because it can set the mood of others.
Question:
*If the painting in “Nude” meant so much to this person why did he/she not allow it to be put back up in the house?
great personification in Birds for breakfast: "The bass plays lazy notes until the trumpet steps in and adds a little life, but it goes quiet again. It is not an easy task to illustrate music in writing, however this student does a great job and really shows the feel of the tune.
ReplyDeleteIn Nude the hook is fantastic, the shock of talking about your mother's unclothed body does exactly what the writer would like. "I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house." This quote shows how the kid didn't really know how odd it was to have naked pictures in his house.
Question on nude: why didn't the writer get more upset/weirded out at first.
Quote from Birds for Breakfast: "Trying to cure my chronic sleeping, my dad cranks the volume downstairs." I really like how the author phrased this. Instead of simply saying "my dad tried to wake me up", she brings the sentence to life.
ReplyDeleteQuote from Nude: "Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother." I like how the author found a way to appreciate what her mother does. I also like how she was able to connect the honesty of her mother's artwork to herself as an independent woman.
Question from Nude: Did the author ever talk to her mom about the beauty in her artwork? Why didn't she asked for it to be put back up?
Nude: "She resisted the temptation to draw her body as it used to look, or how society thinks it should look" I liked this because it was really honest and I'm not sure most people would draw themselves without any editing. I think this could have positively influenced the writer even though they were embarrassed by the drawing.
ReplyDeleteBirds for Breakfast "My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting" I thought this was kinda questionable since they have so much energy in the morning, but if thats how they really are thats cool. I liked how the writer didn't hold back even though they probably knew it was maybe not believable.
Question: Did the dude in the bird essay really have the times of the song memorized or did he just pretend like he did? Also how do they have time for family breakfast on a school day?
“Lines were drawn and redrawn until they revealed the honest body of my mother.” I loved this quote from “Nude” because this image really got to the core of the essay. The author goes on to say that the drawing is her mother’s declaration of self-confidence and that her beauty is found in her imperfections. I imagine that a self portrait is the ultimate test of self-confidence and a nude one must be even more difficult.
ReplyDelete“My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This reminds me of when my sister and I the only ones home making dinner for ourselves. We turn the music up and dance while we cook. Its become a sort of tradition that started back when we were younger and thrilled to have the house to ourselves. Some times she even gets the little dog involved, especially if we happen to be listening to the Lion King. He makes an excellent Simba.
In “Crying Won’t Help You” I learned a lot about the song but not much about the author. I was curious about his actual relationship with the song and wish he had elaborated more.
“A true test is who gets to enjoy the rainbow.” –Crying Won’t Yelp You As I started reading this to myself my first thought was that unlike most pieces of writing that use metaphor after metaphor on metaphor on simile on personification, I might actually like this one. However, it once again demonstrated to me why I can’t stand it. This creates so many analogies that after the third paragraph or so my mind has shut off, telling me “Enough already, I get it, please just stop cramming this rhetorical nonsense into my eyes.” And yet I still would give the overall essay an A- because I know that like any country song, though I may not like it, that doesn’t mean that I was the intended audience, and so to another this writing could itself be called readable.
ReplyDeleteMake it a B+ because the title makes absolutely no sense.
“…But there’s one song that launches me out of bed regardless of the time:” – Birds for breakfast. Starting where we left on the other one: The title is perfect, it relates in the first paragraph, short and sweet, and just abstract enough to get you interested in the piece without making you go “what…” Other than that the piece was very descriptive and the writing built in liveliness along with the music. In fact If it weren’t for my limited bandwidth usage, I’d look up this Birdland song right now. I could also relate as I used to wake up to music, at a camp I went to. One morning I woke up to Jump Around, and groggily got up to get ready for breakfast. Noticing a friend was asleep right when the song hit the “Jump Around!” bit I literally saw him fly out of bed, it was somewhat horrifying and the memory has stuck with me, branded to my skull. Solid “A” work right here.
Now for a question; in “Birds for Breakfast” The narrator describes her brother as childish, and you first get the impression that he is young, but then she talks of how the parents are (sarcastically) ashamed “that their son has had so much influence on their daughter.” So is it a younger or older brother. This can also be a philosophical question on whether or not the younger can influence the older ect. if Mr. Bourne makes you answer my question.
nude: "i never found it strange to have my mother's naked body on display in my house" i dont really see how this isn't strange, however that brings up a good point about how when you are growing up, most things that you have seen since early years you dont think are strange. also, there is a difference between privacy in a family, and privacy in the world.
ReplyDeletebirds for breakfast: "my brother is into air guitar, and this time he opens the fridge door and takes his guitar out of the cheese compartment. he stands there in the kitchen, mimicking playing the guitar with his eyes closed in concentration" i can certainly relate to this, as some people just love to play air guitar, and cant resist during a song. i think it is very funny that the authors brother uses a piece of cheese as a guitar, and this shows that you can add to the music simply by playing air guitar, without even adding to the sound.
crying wont help you: is the song actually about a storm, or is that simply from the authors head?
Nude “I never found it strange to have my mother’s naked body on display in my house.“ This is probably one of the best examples of a interest catcher. Most of the time when I have to write an essay, I have a very difficult time trying to start it off. But it was obvious that the interest catcher came to the author easily and flawlessly.
ReplyDeleteBirds for Breakfast “ A bass harmonic starts the song. It promises bigger and better things to come. This is the first thing to reach me in the morning.” As a jazz appreciator, this was a very appealing relation to me. I’d love to have jazz wake me up in the morning, a slow classy way of starting the day. Maybe by listing to jazz in the morning and he does apply some of the values he draws from them. If he feels bigger and better things to come then they are more prone to happen.
I’d like to know what other music this kid’s dad plays in the morning. I might put together myself a playlist.
Nude
ReplyDelete"I never found it strange to have my mother's naked body in my house."
I really liked this essay and specifically this line because it really captured by attention. It opened the essay in a way that could really lead into anything and when I read it my mind immediately started racing over a dozen thoughts. This was a very strong essay because it starts out fairly light hearted but as it progresses, there is a clear lesson learned by the author. Also, I like how the author was able to craft a very strong essay in less than a page. It is very tight and well written and keeps the reader intrigued.
Crying Won't Help You
"Three chords. Three lines at a time. The relentless triumvirate of wind, rain, and thunder"
This line was very well written and I think does a great job of describing the sounds of a song. It's such an effective line because it relates the sounds to parts of nature that we are all familiar with. It allows the reader to connect with the piece on a more personal level. As for the entire essay, while it was well written, I didn't really like it. It wasn't very engaging as it was entirely analytical and had no narrative. Without hearing the song, it's hard to enjoy an essay like this because we don't know what it sounds like. Also, the essay didn't seem to have a purpose. Describing the song was cool but the essay didn't have much significance and therefore didn't hold my attention well.
Question: Does the author's dad play the music every morning or only on sundays?
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCrying Won't Help You: "Some grotesque plague has overtaken her… pristine trough of fertility."
ReplyDeleteThis is an example of the use of overblown writing in this essay. Artistically, the whole essay is fine, and it has good points about the song. However, it's clear that the song has much greater meaning to the author than to the average member of the audience. There is consistent use of highly dramatic metaphorical language, stretching the boundaries of analysis, which I personally find off-putting.
Untitled (Italian Exchange Student): "Serena is a tempestuous and powerful person… she tends to alienate the people she cares about, only to be hurt by their subsequent distance.
This is certainly a sweeping generalization about a person, but since the author knows Serena, I'm forced to assume it's accurate. However, given that the audience doesn't know anything about this person, it seems as though the author should have included some examples or information about the incidents around her social ineptitude. WIthout 'once'ing, these specific claims don't hold any weight.
"Smoke": Do you think it detracts from the essay to have the author bash house music in his discussion of pop?
Nude
ReplyDelete“The charcoal strokes on the textured paper revealed more than just an embarrassingly naked women… And I learned that the beauty lay in her imperfections, her confident stance, and the honest look in her eyes.” (3rd paragraph)
I love this paragraph because as an artist I have been taught the most valuable way to approach making art is to draw your emotion, you thoughts, the way you view yourself. This maybe a different way than other people view you and you may find beauty in a place others don’t always connect with at first or that makes them uncomfortable.
After writing this essay has the author told her mom her newfound feelings about her moms drawing (because it seemed like in the paper she went from it’s embarrassing take it down to her art is beautiful)?
Crying Won’t Help You
“The true test is who gets to enjoy the rainbow.” (Last sentence)
I like this quote because the author ends on a happy note. The author fully analyzes the song and then ends on this light note which lifts the reader a little. The essay on the whole seemed more detailed and more of a perception about what the song was saying not really about how the song and the person intertwined.
Since this essay has speaks a lot about the storm and expressing fear and darkness really well could this person have been in a difficult spot emotionally? This maybe a question we don’t know the answer to but it’s easier to write from the heart and even if it wasn’t completely tied to the struggle maybe it was their way of acknowledging there was one.
Birds for Breakfast
“On lazy Sunday mornings, instead of waking up to the smell of pancakes and bacon, I wake up to the sound of jazz.” (First sentence)
I love this intro because I usually wake up to the smell of something baking and I think it’s more original to say you wake up to music. I also enjoy this intro because it seems light and bouncy. It also got me to think about how my mornings were. A good writer gets people to think and talk about the writing.
This essay got across the feeling of love for music. Is this song just a good song or a necessity? (Some songs you can listen to repeatedly others are more like a once in a while type of music.)
Quote from "Crying Won't Help You" - "Just when the shadow cast be doubt's mothership threatens to overwhelm the mortal souls below it, the clouds split, the thunder ceases, and the wind settles to a murmur." Ok, now this is just over the top. It is a song and somehow we're talking about motherships and mortal souls. He's got to calm down a bit and come back to reality. This just makes it difficult to read and unrelatable.
ReplyDeleteQuote from "Birds for Breakfast" - "The intro is so familiar now that I can recognize the song by the first two notes." I like this sentence because it displays clearly the connection the writer had to this song. Any of my favorite songs I can recognize by the first two notes so I can easily relate to the and understand what the writer is feeling.
Question from "Nude" - This is just weird by accepting and appreciating her mom's naked picture speaks to the fact that the kid is weird or mental. If this was a college essay would displaying this odd reaction to a weird thing be good or would showing how weird a relationship he has with her mom be bad?
Quote from “Birds for Breakfast,” “My brother and I get up from the table to step to an improvised tribal dance, clapping and shouting back and forth to each other while we prance around the living room.” This reminds me of a similiar thing that my brother and I had done.
ReplyDeleteQuote from “Nude,” “I never found it strange to have my mothers naked body on display in my house.” I think that is a weird way to start, but I also think that because of that it catches you in and makes you want to read the rest of the essay.
Question in “Crying Won’t Help You,” I had a hard time following this essay, what exactly was this about? A concert? Just the song?
Nude: “I never found it strange to have my mother’s naked body on display in my house.”
ReplyDeleteI thought that this essay was excellently concise in conveying its point. It grabbed you initially with an extremely eye-catching hook and then it told a story while at the same time described something that the author learned about herself from the piece of art itself. I think that is what really makes the difference is being able to tie the art back to yourself and show some insight that you were able to gain from it. I really enjoyed this essay and it portrayed a powerful and important message that is very often lost today in society. Self-acceptance and love is a mentally healthy thing to an extent and it is important to be proud of who you are.
The Good Winter: “Vernon proves you don’t need fake guitars, dubstep womps, or expensive recording studios to produce amazing music.”
Music is music. It is completely subjective and everyone has a different emotional reaction and connection to a piece of music. Just because the author’s favorite guitar player locked himself in a cabin for three months and wrote gloomy, self-dissecting music does not mean that it is better than any other type of music. There is a reason people listen to Skrillex and it is because they like the reaction they get from it. I thought the essay was fine but it kind of jumped around a lot and did not focus on how one specific aspect helped her in one moment. Also, she needs to get off her high hipster horse about Bon Iver, they aren’t even really that good.
In Crying Won’t Help, what is the exact point in the essay? Is it that we all go through stormy and turbulent times and it is up to us to make the best out of it?
"For as long as I can remember, my mom has given me impromptu speeches about what it means to be a woman and a feminist. Her words told me that I should never let me be oppressed, that I should never be ashamed of myself or my body, and that sexuality and body parts shouldn't be taboo." This is a very different type of feminism than what I'm used to. My idea of feminists are women who are very anti-sexualization, and who would be very against a naked photo or painting of themselves. It's refreshing to see this message being sent, that girls should be comfortable with themselves, and the way to do this is not shun sexualization.
ReplyDeleteBirds for Breakfast is a fun song, it embodies the song into a fun sibling relationship. "My parents are disappointed that their son has had so much influence on their daughter." This essay is fun and happy, It really made me appreciate both the song and fun mornings with siblings. It flows really well, I think he relates all the aspects of his life well.
How did the painting in Nude actualize the law of "Show, Don't Tell"?
In 'Crying Won't Help You," my favorite sentence was "The true test is who gets to enjoy the rainbow" This sentence was my favorite because it is so simple yet it captures the entire essay. It is descriptive and it gets its point across. I loved how the essay continually circles around the metaphor of a storm and the author brings it back full circle with the rainbow metaphor.
ReplyDeleteNude: “I never found it strange to have my mother’s naked body on display in my house." I found this sentence to be a fantastic hook. There is no way you read this and say "Yeah I think I'm good, don't need to read anymore." Its not exploitive of her mother's artwork and gives you a different look at something that could just be seen as a nude photograph. This essay was very entertaining and different. I appreciated the originality of it. I never would have thought to write about something that is so personal and different. I respected the author's honesty most of all. It must have been a difficult topic to write about and the author did a great job.
Question: What does their house look like in "Bird for Breakfast"?
Grace Tecca
ReplyDelete“The storm rages harder than ever.” “Crying Won’t Help You” I love how the author uses the storm as a metaphor for the song and it’s many parts. It’s a really cool image, and it’s a creative way of thinking about it.
“The only force more powerful than my discomfort at that moment was my anticipation.” “Razing Arizona” This hyperbole really captures my attention. I really want to understand why she is so uncomfortable.
“Nude” Why is there a picture of her naked mom in her house? I feel like a little more of an explanation would be nice.
Sumner LeBaron-Brien
ReplyDelete"The guitar army led by general Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones marches inexorably onward while an unearthly harmonica maelstrom swirls from somewhere beneath Robert Plant's copious lock"
Although the vocab used in this essay is impressive I don't think it's effective because there is too much of it. The reader can tell the author is trying to impress. In my opinion it takes too much effort to read writing like this and it bores me to death. The unnecessary vocab takes away from what the author is trying to convey
"As I grew older, my feelings changed. When my friend giggled and blushed upon seeing it, I became aware that her naked body was in some way shameful"
ReplyDeleteI found this quote interesting because it's very accurate of a child's behavior and change in attitude when exposed to an opinion other than their parents. When a baby is first born and until they're in kindergarten, their parents tell them what is what and the ways of life. When a child then meets someone who disagrees with what they're taught and labels it as silly or incorrect, it's often embarrassing for that child. I've definitely experienced embarrassment because of my parents and continue to today.
"The Good Winter" essay was really powerful. The way they connected the song to a intense emotion and experience was really moving and made me connect to songs that I feel the same way about. I love the statement they make of what the song is about and how they can connect with the lyrics: "This speaks of the naive, unique bond a mother and a child share, reminding me that soon I will be with family."
ReplyDeleteI love the style that the author of "Crying Won't Help You" uses. They connected the sound of the music to a storm so well and in such a way that is so intriguing that you have to listen to the song yourself to see just how accurate they are. The ways they describe each part of the song as a different part of a storm, like the wind and the rain, is magnificent and sends chills down the readers spine. Listening to the song after or even during reading the essay you can't help but feel the approaching and ongoing storm. A favorite quote of mine from this essay is "There is still rain, still thunder, certainly still beauty, but there is something different, unnerving about it." because it evokes in the reader the exact feeling of nervousness that people feel when a big storm is occurring.
I feel like "The Good Winter" should have been longer. I wish they had stuck to one song and extended it, talk more about the lyrics and more about the emotion they felt when they listened to it. Maybe compare to listening to it while in France, and how they had previously felt when listening to it. If listening to it then changed their feelings about the song.